that twerks for me

it’s a twerk in progress

i’m twerking on it

we can twerk it out

i just filed for twerkman’s comp

Yeah, I could go on.

But speaking fluent Miley-ish can only take you so far in life. Sometimes you just have to put your reflex hammer where your mouth is.

At least, that’s the argument Dr. Harry made when he sent me the lyrics to Infect Me. Apparently, he was sitting through yet another one of his kid’s kung fu classes, thinking wistfully of Hannah Montana, when BAM. It hit him like a wrecking ball: zombies + medicine + Miley = ZDoggMD. Problem was, it wasn’t twerking for me.

I gotta be honest: for me, Miley Cyrus just doesn’t stack up to living legends like Debbie Gibson and Tiffany. So I resisted. “Why, Dr. Harry, should I waste my hard-earned time on yet another dead-end medical parody?”

“Because.”

Ok then. So I rounded up Josh.0 and shot the video in a morning, right after recording the song and having it fully pimped out by none other than Downtown Vegas denizen Devin Moore, of the band Rabbit! Listen in the second verse for his “ah’s” as well…this is a legitimate rock star, people, and a helluva nice guy.

And so within a week of Dr. Harry’s fateful lyric-containing and somehow tear-stained email, the video was edited and completed by yours truly (with a little help from Mrs. Dogg and ZPupp, who makes a cameo). Definitely a ZDoggMD Industries record achievement. So enjoy!

But know this: there is a Director’s Cut, complete with disturbing images of me writhing on a bear rug in the buff while licking an otoscope. If you’re good, it will never see the light of day.

In the meantime, it’s back to twerk…

 

Of course, here’s the video that started the apocalypse, Wrecking Ball by Miley Cyrus:


Your eyes were dull, found down in stool


Brought in by EMS.


You had no pulse, code blue was called,


You were in cardiac arrest


Right before my eyes, you began to necrotize,


I tried to start CPR.


My hands smashed through flesh and bone,


Then you began to moan,


You bit me right in my arm.


CHORUS:


You came in to my hospital


Your signs of life were minimal


All I wanted was to start your heart


All you ever did was…infect me!


Yeah you…you zombie!


How do you move, or bite and chew


When you are in asystole?


Which do you need?  Haldol?  Epi?


And do I need a tetanus vaccine?


Like a prion in tattered clothes searching for your host


“Braaaiiinns,” was all that you said.


I can’t understand zombie insurance plans.


Does Obamacare cover undead?



CHORUS:


You came in during my last call


You seem to like your doctors raw


All I wanted was to start your heart


All you ever did was…eat me


Yeah you…zombie!


You came in to my hospital


Your signs of life were minimal


All I wanted was to start your heart


All you ever did was…infect me!


Yeah you…you zombie!


  • I think to really sell it – you should have been in tighty whities

    • You clearly haven’t seen the Director’s Cut. And you don’t want to!

  • Pokie

    LOVE THIS!!

  • tjs-mommy

    still in stitches over this!!! keep them coming!!

    • It was ALMOST worth me getting tetanus from licking that rusty swing chain…

      • Debbiedenise58

        good job… just hearing your stuff today first time!! Keep it coming ZDoggMD… love your stuff n style!! over the topp!!\n yours truly.. \nDebbie, Pedi RN bay area!!

  • Kaitlin Blazejack

    I thought zombies left the hospital in open-backed hospital gowns? 😉

    • Believe me, that was on our shoot list. Unfortunately, there weren’t enough pixels in the censor effect to cover up my fat a** so we had to cut the scene…

  • Danica

    Home health RN here. If I send you lyrics will you totes make a video? It’s pretty great, I must say.

    • hahaha, be warned! I get a LOT of lyrics and have yet to really be able to use any of them. So take the challenge and send ’em along!