If you haven’t heard or seen the musical Hamilton yet, you are missing out on probably the greatest thing that has ever existed in the history of the known Universe.

And now that you know my feelings on the subject, you’ll understand why I got dressed up as an 18th century British aristocrat to make a direct-to-consumer pharma parody ad.

That is all.

(PS: Lest you mistake me for a blanket “hate on Pharma at all costs” hippie, understand this: the people who do R&D in our pharmaceutical companies are heroes who are mission-driven to help their fellow human beings. They have huge challenges and work their butts off to meet them daily for the benefit of patients, and I count many of them as my friends and colleagues. This doesn’t change the fact that Martin Shkreli is a douchebag.)

You say, the price of my drug’s not a price that you’re willing to pay

You cry, when Timmy’s just been stung by a bee but your epi pen’s dry

Why so sad?

Remember we made an arrangement with your FDA

Now you’re making me mad

Remember until there’s generics, I’m your man
You’ll be back

Soon you’ll see

You’ll need meds for that “ADHD”

You’ll be back

Time will tell

You’ll be jacked without the pills we sell
BPs rise, erections fall

We have medications for it all

And when push comes to shove

I will advertise direct to consumer to remind you of my drugs
Fa fafa fa faaa

Fa fafafa Pharma yeah

Fa fafafa Pharma yeah

Ask your doctor about Pharma. Side effects may include:

Extreme poverty, Rectal bleeding, TV dinners, Shingles, Male prostitution, Vaginal dryness, Night blindness, Month-long erections, Compulsive gambling, Plastic surgery addiction, Unexplained tramp stamps, Nasal tenesmus, A sudden urge to shout “Yolo!”, A burning hatred of Adele, Sleep punching, Sleep moonwalking, Sleep quilting, The sudden desire to euthanize a hobo…

And gout…which may be fatal.

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