ZDoggMD Finally Debates an Antivaxxer!

– Z Pack, it’s your boy Z Dog MD. I am not particularly excited about this interview we’re about to do. We invited a leading anti-vax researcher onto the show. She’s late, her name’s Courtney. Hopefully she shows up. But in the meantime, we can talk about. Oh no, what is that? Oh my God, oh my God. Dude, the door is there.

– Oh, hey, the window’s open.

– Oh my God.

– Hey. I’m here to debate, guy. Take this fucking book.

– I guess this is our big debate. They wanted me to debate an antivaxxer and now I’ve got one here. I mean.

– Do you expressly acknowledge that I am one of the experts in my field? OK, and that I’m a leading researcher. Because a lot of people, they only spend 20 minutes on Google, I was on there for four hours.

– So, let me ask you a question.

– This is a picture of you. And it’s gross. You’ve always been hideous and you know that about yourself.

– What’s interesting, there’s a lot of ad hominems involved. Do you know what that is, an ad hominem?

– Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I get kabobs from there all the time. So. I think it’s important that you DYOR, which means do your own research, and so I wanted to bring you a book written by a real doctor and it was really informative on my views on vaccines.

– That’s Dr. Seuss.

– Yeah, and he’s 100 times the doctor you’ll ever be.

– You know, we might have gotten off on the wrong foot. I didn’t realize that something I read to my children at night had any relevance to vaccines. Do we have to do this?

– At our house, we play out back. We play a game called ring the gak.

– Ring the gak, yes, yes.

– Would you like to play this game, come down.

– [Both] We have the only gak in town.

– And that’s like you. You have a monopoly on the vaccines, and you just tell me what to put in my body. And I don’t like it, I don’t like it.

– So now you’re an anti-gaker.

– That’s right.

– OK. Well, at least we have some common–

– Remember when you used to look normal, and not freakish, and now you look like you’re slowly dying of vaccines? This is you. This is a picture of you I found on the internet. OK?

– That’s Uncle Fester.

– This is gross.

– That’s not me.

– You look super gross here.

– That does look gross, but it’s not me.

– You’re disgusting, douche bag.

– Even his teeth are different are different than mine.

– You know what, your teeth look exactly like that.

– You got that from a website ESMoss. I don’t even know what website that is.

– Who pays you? Let me ask that. Who pays, who pays, who pays you?

– How is that relevant to our discussion about vaccines? Vaccine manufacturers don’t pay me. I wish they did.

– Who, who?

– The guy that–

– Who?

– Facebook pays me with ads.

– That’s who? Zuckerberg? He owns a hospital.

– He doesn’t own it–

– Yeah, I see that you’re all in industry’s pocket. Mmhmm.

– His wife is a pediatrician, she cares deeply about vaccines.

– Pediatricians are the worst, they’re basically baby murderers. They were the one who made me get a vaccine.

– They didn’t make you do anything. They offered it, and you chose.

– They told me, vaccinate this child or he can’t go to school, you’ll have to home school him like a little bitch and he’ll be stupid and nobody’ll like him and that’s what happened to me and I just.

– You know, you know, I guess, I guess what we should be asking is less what’s wrong with you than what happened to you. So let’s change the subject. I think it’s important to understand why you would believe a search on the internet over researchers, scientists, people who do this for a living. I don’t get it.

– Yeah, well, I believe the internet because the internet has never lied to me, OK? Except for all those times it told me Michael Jackson was dead, but then the one time he was really dead, so. What I would really like to tell you is how do you sleep, how do you sleep at night, how?

– Sometimes on my belly, sometimes on my back. When I roll on my back, I tend to snore.

– But what about all the children that you hurt with your lies, hmm? What about that?

– I think we’re gonna agree to disagree that I don’t–

– Yeah, we should agree, yeah.

– I never–

– Quiet. I’m deplatforming you right now, just like you deplatformed us.

– It’s my show.

– I’m deplatforming you.

– How can you? How can you?

– I can do that. Shut your bald mouth.

– So do you have a degree from Google University?

– No they don’t, that’s fucking stupid, they don’t have that, OK, stop being an ass. This is you, this is what you look like. Like fucking Uncle Fester. I just want to tell you what a bald shilly bitch you are to your face, because I’m not scared of you bald man.

– So does Google University have a mascot? What is it, is it a pixel?

– What? What’s a pixel?

– So, Courtney, you know, the reason that I wanted you on the show, I mean, apart from being pressured from all the antivaxxers and being stalked with death threats against my family, was you say you have a vaccine injured loved one and I wanted you to talk about this because–

– I do, I do. He’s my baby and he was vaccine injured by you people. His name is Bartholomew. And he’s a really cuddly boy. Or at least he was.

– I believe, and I don’t want to insult, if that’s actually a human child, I don’t want to insult you, but that is a dog, Courtney.

– Listen, when they vaccinated Bartholomew here, I saw the light leave his little eyes. Look at him, do you see how he has a lazy eye now? Do you see?

– Is that from the distemper shot?

– Yeah, look.

– Why do you think?

– His eye is lazy. This eye is normal. This is Bartholomew. It says hashtag mood.

– Let me ask you a question, Courtney. Would you rather that, let’s say the vaccine caused that lazy eye for Bartholomew. Would you rather he die frothing at the mouth of rabies and infect other?

– I would.

– Than have a lazy eye.

– Yeah.

– So you’re saying–

– It’s more dignified.

– Death is better than having a lazy eye.

– Go out on your shield 300 style, like Leonidas.

– So are you being ableist then?

– Totally, totally. Remember that one freaky character in 300, like the hunchbacky guy? He betrayed Leonidas and that’s not cool, OK?

– I think, I think we probably never should have done this, honestly, I think this was a disaster.

– You’re the fucking worst, you’re the worst.

– I think we can agree to disagree on this.

– I’m happy to stay in my echo chamber. Fuck you. This is gross. Do you have Purell? Do you have Purell?

– I just have.

– I’m leaving. You disgusting human. And I can’t deal with you, you bald ugly fucking gross.

– You can’t go out.

– Stupid ugly.

– That’s not an exit.

– I hate you.

– It’s not.

– I hate you.

– That’s not an exit. It is an exit, wow. She’s smarter than I thought.