Ventilate

Ventilators
We ventilate any patient in this hospital
And we damn good too
But you can’t be any scrub off the street
Gotta be handy with the steel if you know what I mean, earn your PEEP
Ventilators! Gown up.

RT
It was a code blue night, a full white moon
RT was on the wards, trying to induce
Some snot from 3, cuz I can get the funk
Just ruling out TB, nurses blowing up my junk

ZDogg
Just hit the Eastside of Emergency
On a mission tryna find me some AFBs
Seen a sick little girl, ain’t no need to wheeze
All us docs know what’s up with RRT

RT
So I hooks a left on 2W and noticed
Some bloater mucous plugged so I said “Mucomyst”
I jumped on the vent and said “PIP’s up”
Some intern checked a gas so I said “I’m stuck”

ZDogg
Since these nurses beeping me I’m a glide and swerve
These suckers breathing so hard peak flow hit the curb
Won’t ya think of better things than q1 Xopenex?
I see my RT doing suction in some patient’s neck

RT
The air is trapped, the tidal volume’s low
I can’t believe they made him full code
They clicked for nebs, they clicked for gas checks
I looked at the intern said, “Damn, what’s next?”

ZDogg
They got my RT hemmed up while they round and round
Ain’t none of them feeling crepitus in that patient’s gown
I gotta come up real quick before this lung goes down
I best check out my scrubs because I smell code brown

RT
The thought runs through my head
Lung cancer all around
He’s got C. diff and I ain’t got no yellow gown
There are things I could try
Should I intubate
I glance at the sat and I see it’s 38

ZDogg
16 on the PEEP but nothing to show
ZDogg is about to make this body turn prone
Now the IV pump’s beepin’
It’s a tad bit late
ZDogg and RT had to ventilate

I brought all his family down
I told them “let him go”
Now I’m switching their minds back to a no-code
If you want shocks sit back and observe
I just left a gang of ribs broken there on the curb

RT
Now Z got the skills
And that’s a known fact
Before I got jacked I was reppin’ ZPac
Back up back down to the floor
Z-D-O-Double-G MD
Chillin’ with RT

ZDogg
Just like I thought
The girl was in the same spot
In need of some desperate help
The ZDogg and the RT
Were in need of more than nebs
One of these tubes was flexy as hell, I said OOO I like your size
She said “ZDogg you’re great and you sing real nice, but let RT try”
I got a cart full o’ meds and it’s going real swell
The next stop is to check End…Tidal…

RT
I’m “PEEP”ing into a whole new ER
Trach gunk, step to this? I dare ya
Nebs
On a whole new level

ZDogg
(The rhythm is afib and afib is the trouble)

RT
Chords
Lubes
We tubes
Everything
RT
Where breathing is life
And life is breathing

If you know like I know
You don’t wanna suction this
It’s the C. diff era
Funked out with a MRSA twist
If you smoke like they smoke
Then it’s Advair every day
And if your gas is acidic
RT will ventilate