First World Problems…

Like how am I going to get a bunch of extras on short notice to shoot a Taio Cruz “Dynamite” parody about parasites? And with airfare to India running in the tens of thousands of rupees, a trip to the Ganges was looking out of scope as well. What’s a smoldering D-list pseudocelebrity like myself supposed to do?

Third World Solutions…

The answer: take it back to the old skool, son. Me, myself, and I.

With a bit of Josh.0 thrown in behind the scenes.

Literally $5 in green screen fabric and a rapidly aging Mac laptop, along with a few hours writing/recording/shooting/editing and BLAM!!!

A vaguely entertaining if sensationalist romp through some yucky human parasites. Why discuss extremely rare brain-eating amoebae like Naegleria fowleri? And why pick on the Ganges River when it’s not even the classic location for some of these specific diseases?

One reason: “Ganges” almost rhymes with “meninges.”

And I’m out.

I came to dance dance dance dance
But I feel like I’ll poo my pants pants pants pants
 
If I had only washed my hands hands hands hands
Giardia wouldn’t cause these cramps cramps cramps cramps
 
Someone please call the CDC
’Cause that’s not all infecting me
 
I flew to India and took a dip in the Ganges
Now my meninges
 
Are swarming with amoebae,
And my pee’s crawling with schisto
Eggs in my whizz, yo!
 
I stepped on hookworms too
Drank water laced with poo
So it serves me right
I got parasites!
 
My doc she told me once
Fit your condom tight
’Cause trichomonas, son
Another parasite!

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