Mumps is a Douchebag
Just Say No To Mumps!

As some of our more loyal fans may recognize, the ZDoggMD core crew is composed of Dr. ZDogg, an internal medicine hospitalist; myself, a pediatrician; Doc Quixote, a general surgeon; and Dr. Diego, a radiologist. You might think that it would be challenging for physicians from four very different specialties to work together on creative ventures that are worthy of ZDoggMD’s discerning audience. Quite to the contrary, we find that our varied perspectives in the medical world allow us to complement one another and–yes–learn from each other’s wisdom!

Vaccine denial is first world stupidity

Take this latest video. It all started a few months back when the gang gathered at the ZDoggMD corporate headquarters (i.e., his garage) for a brainstorming session. Dr. Diego had just arrived in his state-of-the-art urban hovercraft, and Doc Quixote was reporting in via video teleconference from wherever it is that he lives (it changes on a weekly basis depending on his current “mission”). As I sat organizing my collection of Dora the Explorer stickers, Dr. Z was busily stuffing his face with pastries and offering subject ideas for the next project–primarily medical conditions that involve either feces or genitals.

Boromir Dr. Oz Hater
Dr. Oz has been less than enthusiastic about vaccines. Acai berry for measles, anyone?

Although I am usually content to listen passively to ZDogg’s juvenile blather, this time I had an important issue on my mind. “I think that we should do a video educating parents about vaccinations,” I announced, mentally preparing myself for the stony looks of disinterest from my colleagues.

To my surprise, the flames of passion ignited in ZDogg’s eyes. “You are absolutely right, Dr. Harry! It is nigh time that we obliterated the scourge of kwashiorkor!”

“I like the enthusiasm, Z,” I replied, “but kwashiorkor is caused by malnutrition and lack of protein. You don’t actually immunize against kwashiorkor.”

Ninja Vaccinations
Unleash the ImmuNinja!

The passion in Dr. Z’s eyes dissipated, and his face purpled with rage as he nearly choked on an eclair. “Do you know who I am?” He sputtered.  “I am Z-Dogg freakin’ M.D.!!!  If I say there is a vaccine for kwashiorkor, then angels shall rewrite the medical books to make it is so!”

“What’s a vaccine?” asked Doc Quixote, twirling an Indonesian hunting knife around his heavily calloused trigger finger. “I prefer to face disease head on–by tearing it out of my patients’ bodies with extreme prejudice!”

“I just finished reading an abdominal film showing a syringe that someone had managed to stick up his own poopshoot,” Dr. Diego added helpfully, his face freshly tanned from a recent vacation on his private tropical island. “Clinical correlation recommended,” he mumbled, almost as an afterthought.

I spent the next hour educating the crew about the enormous impact that vaccines have had in decreasing disease world-wide over the past century. I also bemoaned the growing confusion and fears that many people have about vaccine safety, much of which is based on inaccurate information and myths. As I preached, I was touched to see tears welling up in my colleagues’ eyes (later they admitted that they were just trying really hard not to yawn). In the end, the crew agreed to proceed with the vaccine video idea, which just narrowly beat out Doc Quixote’s suggestion about the hidden dangers of clown farts.

Alas, the road to completion of this video was paved with blood, snot, and meconium-stained amniotic fluid. It turns out that things get really busy for pediatricians and hospitalists during the winter time. At long last, thanks to the endless hours that ZDogg has shirked his real job duties in order to edit this video, we humbly submit the completed project for your viewing pleasure. Props to Dr. Diego for using his fine radiologist’s eye to painstakingly create the brilliant photo stills for the video!  And many thanks to Travie McCoy and Bruno Mars for recording Billionaire, the perfect template for immunoparody!


Vaccine Education Links:


I really wanna immunize so frickin’ bad
Protect you from those germs you’ve never had
Don’t want you to catch the mumps–meningitis too
Pertussis, hepatitis or the flu.

But everywhere I turn my eyes,
The internet is spreading lies.
So many parents scared by fairy tales and hate
I need to educate, so that I can vaccinate

Yo, lots of parents scared by the myths, they’re
Peeing in their underwear
“Shots ain’t needed,” suckers scoff
Now their kids get whooping cough
This bozo Wakefield said “shots make you autistic”
But that fool was paid by lawyers just to jack the statistics
And now the public’s understanding’s unrealistic
These lies on the internet make me go ballistic
Like aluminum in vaccinations, folks say, “Oh No”
But you get more in your diet just from eating some Ho Hos
Suckaz think, they catchin’ Flu from the Flu shot
But the shot stops flu, and that’s a cold that you caught, fool
Keep sayin’ that vaccine and not disease makes you illest
Like Gary Coleman said, “Whachu talkin’ ‘bout, Willis?”

But everywhere I turn my eyes,
Some so-called expert’s spreading lies
A different talk show every night, oh why get played
Cause it would be so great, if we’d all just vaccinate

oh oooh oh oooh we should all just vaccinate
oh oooh oh oooh we should all just vaccinate

Patients ask me what I’d do for my relatives
Knowin’ lots of medicine
I’d show ‘em vaccinations save more lives than almost anything
Don’t let my daughter get up in the car without a car seat
Why should I let her get pertussis, measles, or the mumps, G?
These ain’t the kinda shots that killed Tupac
They put the brakes on polio so little kids could walk
Prevented deafness, retardation–changed the world
You’re damn right I’m gonna give ‘em to my little girl
Don’t give Chuck Norris shots, though, that’d be dim
Chuck need vaccines? Naw…vaccines need him
To beat some sense up in you, do what needs to be done
To keep our children in the playground, not up in no iron lung

Sing it

I really wanna immunize so frickin’ bad
Protect you from those germs you’ve never had
Don’t want you to catch the pox–rotavirus too
Polio, rubella or H flu.
But everywhere I turn my eyes
Some B-list actor’s spreading lies
Listen to reason, hear the truth ‘fore it’s too late
We can keep our children safe, if we’d all just vaccinate

oh oooh oh oooh we should all just vaccinate
oh oooh oh oooh

I really wanna immunize so frickin’ bad

  • Maria Olivar Lawson

    Every parent and teacher in the united states should see this video. After all they all believe if they see it on the net! Excellent.

    • Point well taken, Mrs. Lawson!

      • Great fun and important information here. This is serious enough to share with the rest of the world. Thanks Doctors……..great way to communicate with the masses and laugh at little.\nI think it was Dr. God that once said “Laughter is the best MEDICINE”. If I keep on laughing who knows what will happen? Maybe I can live forever. \n\nthanks for the fun.

  • B. Diddy

    Strong work, fellas! Next topic could be the contention that wind turbines give people headaches and general feel badness.

    • B. Diddy, I was just about to accept money from some lawyers to falsify a study “proving” the relationship between wind turbines and gout. But I’m scared some chump will make a parody rap video about me 10 years later.

    • Doc Quixote

      I’m on it! Wait, are we pro or con?

  • Safety First

    Google Images: \nIan Gromowski\nLyla Rose Belkin\nElias Tembenis\n\nPlease ask your colleagues to give vaccine injury prevention as much time, funding and concern as vaccine promotion.

  • Maurine

    Not only is this false information, but it’s lousy poetry.

    • Doc Quixote

      Do I detect an inflammatory response? Hmm? Get it?

    • Doc Quixote

      But I agree, it’s no “Man From Nantucket”! Touche!

    • Not if your life depends on it!!!

    • Maurine’s Husband

      I am Maurine’s hussban! Woahmin get your fat rear end bak into the kitchin befer I beet you! I tole you not to be playing onlyne and look at yew! Yew are making peeple think wimin has thoughts! Everyone nos that these is lyes!! LYES LYES!!

  • reasonablehank

    Protip: clown farts don’t smell funny.

    • “Reasonablehank”. (Pro:Tip: clown fart don’t smell funny”) change your name or prove your theory!!!

    • They may not smell funny, sir, but you can fit 100 of them into a tiny Volkswagen Beetle.

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  • FoxyRN

    Loved this video. Convincing the anti-vax whackaloons is a hard sell…first you have to get them to understand rational thought, critical thinking and science. However, humor might be enough to open the minds of some who have a modicum of reason! Thanks for your great video!

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  • Naline Lai, MD


  • Chris

    What an adorable little girl! And Dr. Harry is pretty cute too. I am glad that he cares!\n\nAwesome video. I am all too familiar with rotavirus. Ugh! Horrible disease. Not only did my toddler get it, but I also got it! I had to borrow diapers from my kid.

    • Doc Quixote

      I’m glad you clarified…we used to call Harry “adorable little girl” back in med school.

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  • Andy

    Is this an admission that the science on vaccines is so flawed that you have use emotional ways to try get people to take thier shots? Care to explain why scareltt fever went with no vaccine and smallpox when less than 10% of the world was ever vaccinated? It was clean water, hygeine and better nutrition that beat those diseases never vaccines and its provable unlike your junk pseudo science on behapf of big pharma. Taken your swine flu vaccine yet guys? LOL.\nDont give up the day job guys.

    • Chris

      Scarlett fever is a type of strep infection, it has not gone away and there is no vaccine for it. That is what antibiotics are for, and why kids no longer routinely die from it. You should read up a bit more on the subject from reputable sources, especially with that kind of error.\n\nSome reading suggestions:\n\nPlagues and Peoples by William McNeill\nInside the Outbreaks by Mark Pendergrast\nFlu! by Gina Kolata\nThe Great Influenza by John Barry\nPolio, an American Story by David M. Oshinsky\nVaccine by Arthur Allen\nVaccinated by Paul Offit

      • Doc Quixote

        Good job Chris! You keep him distracted, I’ll dose the olanzapine!

    • Chris

      [sarcasm] It only took two hundred years to rid the planet of smallpox. [/sarcasm] Here is a time line:\n

    • Doc Quixote

      Thanks Andy! Glad you liked the vid…keep on truckin’!

    • Lisa

      I had Scarlett Fever as a child–in the 80’s. You’re dumber than a box of hair. Pay attention to keeping your own ass clean and don’t bother the good docs anymore.

      • Lisa

        Sadly, I had just read The Velveteen Rabbit and I thought having Scarlett Fever meant that doctors were going to come and burn all my toys. That books needs a footnote!

  • CandiO, WHNP-BC

    OMG, funny. Now how can I have this piped on an endless loop into my waiting and exam rooms?!

  • Sarah

    This is amazing. Great job guys! Keep it up :-). As an Epidemiologist, this is a great resource to reach a whole new group of parents.

    • Nina

      This is a great video and I would love to share it. It would be great playing in the lobby of the waiting room, however, it would be nice if a few parts were toned down so that all ages could watch and hear it. Good job.

  • Drewski

    Great vids, guys. It’s nice to see that even those suffering from the most severe form of neurosyphilis can contribute to the medical community.\n\nCheers,\nDrew

    • Thanks Drew. We were hoping that by releasing this video, someone out there might be motivated to produce a syphilis vaccine–thereby preventing the dancing gumma that is Dr. Harry.

    • Doc Quixote

      See the thing about neurosyphilis is exactly and where did I put my corn?

  • applgrl

    You guys rock, you roll. Confirmed by my 14-yr-old. \n\nNow can you suggest a treatment to replace the large portions of my tongue which I had to chew out when a close friend spent thousands on chelation therapy for her autistic son and told anyone (who would listen) in a 90-mile-radius not to vaccinate their kids??

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  • Congratulations on being a medical winner on Grand Rounds this week.

    • Thanks for the undeserved award!

  • PediatricNurse

    As a pediatric registered nurse for the past 38 years, I have seen the decrease in many vaccine preventable diseases. This decrease is due to the SAFE and EFFECTIVE vaccines we have available to protect the children in our care! Is there a FaceBook link so that I can begin some widespread sharing with friends and family?

  • Harry Dennis

    This is fantastic! Thanks for putting a big smile on my face, and creating something that really has a chance of helping people see the value of immunizations! Amazingly creative and fun!

  • My children (3 and 6) have been running around my house for two weeks singing, “I really wanna vaccinate, SO FRICKIN’ BAD” at the tops of their lungs. I would take them in, but it would be redundant, seeing they’re up-to-date.\n\nSo thanks for this.

    • Apparently Heather, the gift of song is one that keeps on giving…much akin to a case of herpes. At least your children haven’t heard Pull and Pray yet. My daughter likes to belt that one out in Denny’s and it usually leads to someone choking on their Moons Over My Hammy.

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  • Poster

    I think you should also put up videos that kids should drink their soda pops. The industry proofed time and time again that these drinks are good for kids.

    • Absolutely! We’ll do it, seeing as the industry “proofed” it time and time again. We’re all about proofing here. In fact, I think Dr. Harry just proofed his pants!

      • Clever response that compelled me to actually lol. But just in case anyone might misconstrue ZDoggMD’s reply to Poster . . . too much soda pop = bad while the occasional vaccine = good. Congrats on an informative and entertaining music video – well done!

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  • I love the humor behind the important message. Vaccinate your kids. Vaccinate your kids. I’m right there with you. Its that time of year that my kids head of for a sunny day pediatrician office visit for their pointy surprise. I like your style. Melissa

  • Mastermindless

    I wish real musicians would have the creativity, talent and smarts you guys are delivering here. \nYou are doing a wonderful job!

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  • Zdogg Homeopathic Patient

    Admittedly, you guys are hilarious. Your comment responses are even better than the video! Anyway, if you and your kids are immunized, why should you fear those that are not? Won’t affect you, right? Keep up the good work.

  • This is insurance to pay for the rental are ‘held’ by your credit card \ncompany pays the paphos car hire damages! Holding banners reading” Immortal” \nand” policy limits” documents printed for you usually available online \nand most are single or twin. If you want to see the city and \nthe country is also well connected to the other person’sinsurancecompany.

  • Michaelis Desolatoris Mortem


  • Stacey Gordon

    Thanks for this…. Not an MD, but I like to play like I have a brain…

  • Dakota Plant

    Another great presentation.

  • Heather Hubbard

    Greatest immunization message EVER! I was anti-vax pre 2013. During visit home for holidays, I contracted H1N1 (influenza strain) end of Dec 2013. On Jan 6, 2014 I was admitted to SICU. Over the next two months I had a tracheotomy, was put on an oscillating ventilator (akin to an iron lung), medically comatose and fighting for my life. I survived, but not without many serious health problems, including a brain tumor/lesion which has made me Epileptic; plus the need for 15+ Rx meds, including supplemental O2. PLEASE share my story will EVERYONE you know: