Problem: Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs (NSAIDs) can be associated with GI tract damage including gastritis, ulcers, and potentially fatal bleeding. This association is not necessarily common knowledge among non-medical types (or Muggles, as they are sometimes known in the doctoring community).

Problem: ZDoggMD has dreamed of being a gangsta rapper all his life but fate kept delaying the inevitable dropping of mad rhymes. Fate, and the general wackness that comes with being (off) white, suburban, and…uh, well, a doctor.

Problem: ZDoggMD’s pal, Samix the DJ from San Diego, has a supernatural ability to construct fabulous beats out of seemingly thin air, and said beats were laying fallow in his basement.

SolutionCheck Tha’ Tissue, my first musical joint.

By way of explanation for my Muggle homies, the title refers to the importance of watching for signs and symptoms of gastrointestinal bleeding while taking NSAIDs (which include aspirin, motrin, advil, ibuprofen, naprosyn, aleve, and indomethacin, among others). One should check the toilet tissue for telltale signs, such as black stool (a sign of bleeding high up in the digestive tract, common with ulcers and inflammation of the stomach lining). “The foul black stool we call melena”. A physician should also check tha’ tissue lining the GI tract with an endoscope if such evidence of bleeding is present. Check Tha’ Tissue: multiple levels of profundity and hence the perfect title for a wack rap about bleeding from your arse.

Dr. Diego (who plays the afflicted NSAID user and tissue-checker) kindly let me use his ’94 Corolla for the purpose of Ghost Riding in the parking lot of a major sports stadium in San Francisco. My mother, having seen the video on YouTube, disapproved of this to the degree that she almost 5150’d me (she’s a shrink, and does indeed have the ability to place me on a 72 hour hold…my teenage years were fun). Ghost Riding the Whip is easy: put the car in drive, hop out, hope to Zeus that you can hop back in time to prevent the jalopy from Ghost Driving into the Bay. Now THAT video would have gone viral.

If I get enough requests, I’ll post outtake footage on this blog that didn’t make it into the final cut. Dr. Harry does some gymnastics that threw his back out, and Dr. Diego’s breakdancing led to severe shin splints. Look, nobody said a gangsta’s life was fun.

Check Tha’ Tissue: The Ulcer Rap


Uh, yeah, ZDoggMD

Samix dropped the beats
Nurse, another bag of normal saline for the ladies at the bar
And pour some out for the GI bleeders who didn’t make it
Word to the ICU

ZDoggMD, board certified to be, the #1 doctor on the mike, you won’t see
Another MD like me, an O.G. who nearly O.D.’d on med school, it’s Doctor Z
Comin’ direct to check the med rec and drop some truth on some meds that can wreck
Your gut if you aren’t aware, I ain’t trying to scare, I’m just trying to share
Cause I care

About the N to the S to the A-I-D-S
Motrin, ibuprofen and the rest
Of the class known as Non Steroidal
Anti Inflammatory Drugs, the little slugs
That people take, for their aches and pains
They don’t realize the strains
That these meds put on the stomach lining
It ain’t whining
I’m just depicting and defining and further outlining the type
Of damage pain killers do
Breaking down the gut mucosa through and though, forming an ulcer and the blood
It begins to spew
A tarry black goo
Out the rectum
Wrecked him? It damn near killed him, G!

So when you check in the bowl, that’s what I’m smellin’ ah
The foul black stool we call melena
Cause when an ulcer in the stomach starts to bleed real fast
We take an endoscope and POP A CLIP IN THAT ASS!
So unless you wanna swallow that scope I suggest
You pay attention to these rhymes that are dope, and then lest
You be at higher risk if you use aspirin
Or steroids, or blood thinners
Quit multitasking!

If you already have ulcers you’ll just make em worse
And your next ride could be a hearse
Which is why for these patients we choose tylenol
Cause when your bleeding out your ass you ain’t smiling, y’all
So now you know about the whole ulcer issue, if you died then we’d miss you
When you wipe, check tha’ tissue.

Check tha’ tissue, G.

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