Attending’s Video Log, Stardate 9.27.2011

We are in orbit around a remote County emergency department. My crew of young interns is greener than a vat of Vulcan hemoglobin, and being of the Millennial generation they insist on bringing their stuffed Tribbles to work with them. New Federation-mandated work hour restrictions make them as useless as a Romulan lounge singer at a Ferengi bar mitzvah.

My second year resident—Dr. Spock—insists on quoting evidence-based guidelines to me, reminding me constantly that my ad hoc treatment regimens are “highly illogical.” And our respiratory therapist Scotty tells me our CPR dummy “is barely holding together…she can’t take much more o’ this!” Worse still, some redshirt made a documentary of our adventures and put it on StarTube:

In space, no one can hear you code.

Scenes borrowed from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
All voices by ZDoggMD
Nerdastic Trek Consultant: fellow hospitalist B. Diddy!

 

In the midst of this galactic chaos, Starfleet Command has asked us to host the 8th anniversary edition of medical bloggers’ Grand Rounds. So the great medical bloggers from around the galaxy have kindly contributed their bits and bytes, included below with my own two cents thrown in. Thanks to longtime Borg plastic surgeon Dr. Ramona Bates for hosting the last Grand Rounds; the next will be hosted by those crazy Klingons over at The Healthcare Economist on October 11th, so make sure to boldly go where no…awwww, never mind.

And Now: Grand Rounds Vol. 8 No. 1

 

We begin with some some visual stimulation, courtesy of our very own Doc Quixote:

Urinal eye wash
Hospital Budget Cuts.

 

Followed by a couple of classic medical records, submitted by CrankyKong, MD:

‘Taint interested!

 

What diabetic foot? I need to raise my Press Ganey patient satisfaction scores, STAT.

 

I happen to be an obesity epidemic denialist, even after seeing this picture taken by my high school buddy Jayson:

Hi, I’ll have 2 knee replacements, a cholecystectomy, a 3V CABG (naw, supersize it to 4)…and a diet coke.

 

 Funny Medical Stuff:

 

Vax Fax

  • Y’all know that being in the pocket of Big Pharma, I love vaccines like a phat kid loves high fructose corn syrup. So I LOVE this post about flu shots by blogger Dr. Pullen.
  • And the only thing I hate about the two videos below is that I didn’t produce them first:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vNQ7K_ow78

And now a roundup of some hot medical parody video action!

 

  • The legendary Happy Hospitalist has a whole playlist of kick-ass parody videos detailing the many foibles of our profession. Happy is an inspiration for downtrodden hospitalists everywhere:

  • I dig this guy’s style. I mean, who makes a video about Press Ganey patient satisfaction scores that DOESN’T suck? This is awesome people:

 

  • Medical school class plays are the source of much chuckles (don’t make me dig up our Doc’s of Hazzard production on VHS somewhere in my attic). Here are some instant classics:

Med Student Fantasy Versus Sad Reality:

Internist Versus Surgeon:

Neurosurgeon Verus Psychiatrist:

The Infamous Diagnosis: Wenckebach:

The Office: Med School Edition:

And We OUT.

And so another grand rounds comes to a close. For all you old healthcare codgers out there that wanna keep track of what the kids are listening to these days, download for free this AWESOME mix by my main DJ brutha Samix. A big file but worth it (especially if you’ve got a long commute, like to exercise aerobically, or want to impress members of the opposite sex that are half your age). He’s strung together 30 minutes of sellout pop music turned triptastic art form. Recall that he is the mastermind behind the creation of many ZDoggMD rap beats, including Pull & Pray, AutoTune Bad News, The Ulcer Rap, Hyponatrizzle, and more. So check it before you wreck it. I really don’t know what that means.

And as always, remember to fan us on Facebook, follow on Twitter, and subscribe on YouTube. Also make sure to enter your email in the upper right corner of the website to get the latest videos delivered fresh to your inbox! There is an ancient Klingon proverb: “Spam is a dish best served cold.”

Of all the resident souls I’ve encountered in medicine, his was the most *chokes up*…human.

Dr. James T. Kirk, Professor of Starfleet Medicine, on his second-year resident Spock.

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