The Wrath of Dr. Khan | A Star Trek Parody

Attending’s Video Log, Stardate 9.27.2011

We are in orbit around a remote County emergency department. My crew of young interns is greener than a vat of Vulcan hemoglobin, and being of the Millennial generation they insist on bringing their stuffed Tribbles to work with them. New Federation-mandated work hour restrictions make them as useless as a Romulan lounge singer at a Ferengi bar mitzvah.

My second year resident—Dr. Spock—insists on quoting evidence-based guidelines to me, reminding me constantly that my ad hoc treatment regimens are “highly illogical.” And our respiratory therapist Scotty tells me our CPR dummy “is barely holding together…she can’t take much more o’ this!” Worse still, some redshirt made a documentary of our adventures and put it on StarTube:

In space, no one can hear you code.

Scenes borrowed from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
All voices by ZDoggMD
Nerdastic Trek Consultant: fellow hospitalist B. Diddy!

 

In the midst of this galactic chaos, Starfleet Command has asked us to host the 8th anniversary edition of medical bloggers’ Grand Rounds. So the great medical bloggers from around the galaxy have kindly contributed their bits and bytes, included below with my own two cents thrown in. Thanks to longtime Borg plastic surgeon Dr. Ramona Bates for hosting the last Grand Rounds; the next will be hosted by those crazy Klingons over at The Healthcare Economist on October 11th, so make sure to boldly go where no…awwww, never mind.

And Now: Grand Rounds Vol. 8 No. 1

 

We begin with some some visual stimulation, courtesy of our very own Doc Quixote:

Urinal eye wash

Hospital Budget Cuts.

 

Followed by a couple of classic medical records, submitted by CrankyKong, MD:

‘Taint interested!

 

What diabetic foot? I need to raise my Press Ganey patient satisfaction scores, STAT.

 

I happen to be an obesity epidemic denialist, even after seeing this picture taken by my high school buddy Jayson:

Hi, I’ll have 2 knee replacements, a cholecystectomy, a 3V CABG (naw, supersize it to 4)…and a diet coke.

 

 Funny Medical Stuff:

 

Vax Fax

  • Y’all know that being in the pocket of Big Pharma, I love vaccines like a phat kid loves high fructose corn syrup. So I LOVE this post about flu shots by blogger Dr. Pullen.
  • And the only thing I hate about the two videos below is that I didn’t produce them first:

Michele Bachmann chooses STD’s – watch more funny videos
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1vNQ7K_ow78

And now a roundup of some hot medical parody video action!

 

  • The legendary Happy Hospitalist has a whole playlist of kick-ass parody videos detailing the many foibles of our profession. Happy is an inspiration for downtrodden hospitalists everywhere:

  • I dig this guy’s style. I mean, who makes a video about Press Ganey patient satisfaction scores that DOESN’T suck? This is awesome people:

 

  • Medical school class plays are the source of much chuckles (don’t make me dig up our Doc’s of Hazzard production on VHS somewhere in my attic). Here are some instant classics:

Med Student Fantasy Versus Sad Reality:

Internist Versus Surgeon:

Neurosurgeon Verus Psychiatrist:

The Infamous Diagnosis: Wenckebach:

The Office: Med School Edition:

And We OUT.

And so another grand rounds comes to a close. For all you old healthcare codgers out there that wanna keep track of what the kids are listening to these days, download for free this AWESOME mix by my main DJ brutha Samix. A big file but worth it (especially if you’ve got a long commute, like to exercise aerobically, or want to impress members of the opposite sex that are half your age). He’s strung together 30 minutes of sellout pop music turned triptastic art form. Recall that he is the mastermind behind the creation of many ZDoggMD rap beats, including Pull & Pray, AutoTune Bad News, The Ulcer Rap, Hyponatrizzle, and more. So check it before you wreck it. I really don’t know what that means.

And as always, remember to fan us on Facebook, follow on Twitter, and subscribe on YouTube. Also make sure to enter your email in the upper right corner of the website to get the latest videos delivered fresh to your inbox! There is an ancient Klingon proverb: “Spam is a dish best served cold.”

Of all the resident souls I’ve encountered in medicine, his was the most *chokes up*…human.

Dr. James T. Kirk, Professor of Starfleet Medicine, on his second-year resident Spock.

  • Wow! Great edition of Grand Rounds!

  • What an imaginative ‘Rounds, Doc!

    Thanks for hosting, and for including our post.

  • This is brilliant satire, thank you for your contributions and for highlighting others!
    Keep up the important work… seriously!

  • Winning!

    Great Grand Rounds!

  • misha

    Hilarious, just what we needed, thanks for the morning laughs!

  • Funniest Grand Rounds EVER!!! Thank you for raising my endorphin levels.

  • May I be the ship’s captain? But I’m not sure I could control the crew. Looks like you’ve been places on-line where no doc-patient-mom-writer like me has been before.

    So thanks for expanding my horizons. Seriously, great job!

    (in case you’re wondering, Bill and I are 4th cousins or something like that.)

  • MikeP

    Being a Paramedic, I usually just see the battles between the Med-Surg RNs v/s myself and my brother and sister Paramedics. But now I have seen the never ending battle between the Internal MDs and the ER MDs, a true war of the minds. Plus that was dam funny.

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  • If the ER has a “staff of homeless drug seekers”, I’d hate to see psych’s staff in that “hospital”! Brilliant video…made my night!

  • Acey RN

    You had me at “greener than a vat of Vulcan hemoglobin”.

  • Dex

    This is awesome! I just discovered your website today. Keep it up!

  • Awesome vid! As a Trekkie kid from the 70’s, I shared this one on my blog and added you to my blogroll. Thanks! Great stuff!

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