Snore (A Katy Perry Parody)
When in doubt, sleep your way to the top.
I read that advice once. Sure it was on a public bathroom stall, but still…
After all, these days it’s increasingly clear that proper sleep is pretty much the key to everything. That’s why disorders like obstructive sleep apnea (OSA) are such a bummer. Apart from raising blood pressure, increasing the risk for heart and liver problems, and annoying the heck out of spouses, OSA jacks up our sleep and really throws a wrench in life and the enjoyment thereof. And many times, folks are entirely unaware of the nature of their problem.
Now people who know me understand that I’m all about LOWERING awareness. Take gluten sensitivity for example: I once hosted a telethon aimed at lowering gluten awareness. We served bagels.
But with OSA, I think I’ll have to push in the opposite direction this time.
And so we humbly present a Katy Perry parody (or a Perry-ody if you must) of her smash hit Roar. It’s called, well, Snore. And it’s here to raise awareness of obstructive sleep apnea. Because sometimes we all need to sleep our way to the top.
Devin Moore on the audio production and backup vocals. Me on the guitar and lyrics and video editing. Mrs. DoggMD on the cinematography. Thanks to Dr. Gene Hobbs for the epic CPAP mask!
And courtesy of the Mayo Clinic, here’s a few quick fun facts about OSA!
- Excessive daytime sleepiness (hypersomnia)
- Loud snoring, which is usually more prominent in obstructive sleep apnea
- Episodes of breathing cessation during sleep witnessed by another person
- Abrupt awakenings accompanied by shortness of breath, which more likely indicates central sleep apnea
- Awakening with a dry mouth or sore throat
- Morning headache
- Difficulty staying asleep (insomnia)
- Attention problems
When to see a medical type dude(ette)
Consult a medical professional if you experience, or if your partner notices, the following:
- Snoring loud enough to disturb the sleep of others or yourself
- Shortness of breath that awakens you from sleep
- Intermittent pauses in your breathing during sleep
- Excessive daytime drowsiness, which may cause you to fall asleep while you’re working, watching television or even driving
At night I bite my tongue and hold my breath\r\nThe decibels I make can wake the dead\r\nThru my commute I’m pooped but yo\r\nThe airbag makes a nice pillow\r\nI guess that I forgot I had to breathe\r\nMy floppy airway got the best of me\r\nAll through the night, I’m sawing logs\r\n‘Till suddenly my breathing pauses\r\n\r\nMy sat drops down, but then pops up (hey)\r\nIntermittently as I’d obstruct\r\nYou hear my breath, a rumbling sound\r\nWaking people up for miles around\r\nMy face turns blue, the pulse shoots up (hey)\r\nMy heart has nearly had enough\r\nThe wife walked out, there’s just no doubt\r\n\r\nI’ve got obstructive sleep apnea, oh crap we about to\r\nGet CPAP we so tired, can’t respire, so…so you’re gonna hear me snore…\r\n\r\nLouder than a Scion with no muffler, you’ll be cryin’\r\n\r\n‘Cause you’re gonna hear me snore
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