Parasite (Taio Cruz “Dynamite” Parody)

First World Problems…

Like how am I going to get a bunch of extras on short notice to shoot a Taio Cruz “Dynamite” parody about parasites? And with airfare to India running in the tens of thousands of rupees, a trip to the Ganges was looking out of scope as well. What’s a smoldering D-list pseudocelebrity like myself supposed to do?

Third World Solutions…

The answer: take it back to the old skool, son. Me, myself, and I.

With a bit of Josh.0 thrown in behind the scenes.

Literally $5 in green screen fabric and a rapidly aging Mac laptop, along with a few hours writing/recording/shooting/editing and BLAM!!!

A vaguely entertaining if sensationalist romp through some yucky human parasites. Why discuss extremely rare brain-eating amoebae like Naegleria fowleri? And why pick on the Ganges River when it’s not even the classic location for some of these specific diseases?

One reason: “Ganges” almost rhymes with “meninges.”

And I’m out.

I came to dance dance dance dance

But I feel like I’ll poo my pants pants pants pants

 

If I had only washed my hands hands hands hands

Giardia wouldn’t cause these cramps cramps cramps cramps

 

Someone please call the CDC

‘Cause that’s not all infecting me

 

I flew to India and took a dip in the Ganges

Now my meninges

 

Are swarming with amoebae,

And my pee’s crawling with schisto

Eggs in my whizz, yo!

 

I stepped on hookworms too

Drank water laced with poo

So it serves me right

I got parasites!

 

My doc she told me once

Fit your condom tight

‘Cause trichomonas, son

Another parasite!

  • I think I need some parasitominiphen after watching that. LOL!

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