Low (An Outpatient Clinic Jam)
Health 3.0 means inpatient and outpatient, acute and subacute and post acute and hospice, everything…the whole continuum of care integrated, communicating, seamless, in service of the patient and in support of caregivers too.
We here at ZDoggMD Industries tend to focus on the acute side a bit much, a side effect of our hospitalist background. But not this time. WE NEED AN OUTPATIENT CLINIC JAM STAT!
It’s time we celebrated and elevated the unsung heroes of healthcare, our outpatient soldiers! Medical assistants, billing specialists, nurse practitioners, front office staff, physician assistants, pharmacists, nurses, CNAs, phlebotomists, health coaches, techs, MDs, DOs, veterinarians (YES). The people who keep them patients flowing and rooms roomin’, despite the yoke of Health 2.0’s bean counters thwarting them at every turn.
So share this jam with your favorite MA, NP, PA, outpatient doc, coder, and anyone holding it down in the clinic world. And download the track on iTunes, Spotify and more! Z-Pain OUT!
Written and performed by ZDoggMD
Audio engineering and mixing by Devin Moore
Directed by Tom Hinueber
Cinematography by Logan Stewart
Edited by Logan Stewart, Tom Hinueber, and ZDoggMD
Production Assistant was Melat Demeke
Based on “Low” by Flo Rida and T-Pain
In Tha’ Video:
ZDoggMD (as Z-Rida and Z-Pain)
Tony Hsieh, CEO of Zappos (Snapchatting patient)
Stephanie Lapid RN (Workin’ the IV Pole)
Anjaly Curley, MD Diagnostic Radiologist (Dancer who knocks dat Boost out of ZDogg’s hands)
Brendan Curley, DO, MPH Medical Oncologist/Hematologist (Doc Dancer)
Danica Joy Illagan, Pharmacy Student Roseman University (Medical Assistant and Dancer)
Steven Uy- Pharm D (Dancer and potential foley cath recipient)
Christine Estrada, DO (Doc trying to chart)
Julie Elizabeth Westra RN (Nurse trying to place foley)
Tom Hinueber (Patient with Mullet)
MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM\r\n\r\nLet me talk to ‘em, Let me talk to ‘em\r\n\r\nWhat a pain\r\n\r\nMMM MMM MMM MMM MMM MMM\r\n\r\nFax the auth to ‘em (Come on!)\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nShorty had them apple bottom scrubs\r\n\r\nCrocs with the fur\r\n\r\nThe whole day billing medi-carrrrre\r\n\r\nThey NPO\r\n\r\nShe checks glucose\r\n\r\nSugar got low low low low low low low low\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nThem baggy bouffants and the danskos with the strap\r\n\r\nTurned around and gave that big booty a pap (HEY)\r\n\r\nThey got a cold\r\n\r\nWant azithro\r\n\r\nShawty’s like no no no no no no no no\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\n(hey)\r\n\r\nI ain’t never seen nothing that’ll fix the flow\r\n\r\nThem patients lined up waiting to go\r\n\r\nBought a million dollar EMR that blows\r\n\r\nPress Ganey never seen a score so low\r\n\r\nSo sensible\r\n\r\nShe was flexible, professional\r\n\r\nBilling extra codes\r\n\r\nHold up wait a minute, do I see a drug rep, aw no\r\n\r\nDid her thing, I seen shawty write notes\r\n\r\nCopy-pasting, then the thing froze\r\n\r\nMake it rain, tech makin’ it slow\r\n\r\nWork the codes, to make the payroll\r\n\r\nI’m a say that I can’t stand it no mo\r\n\r\nRevenue flat reimbursement so low\r\n\r\nPA help STAT! patients lined out the do\r\n\r\nBut my MA always know where they go\r\n\r\nShe had them\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nApple bottom scrubs\r\n\r\nGlued to tha’ phone\r\n\r\nDrug seekers yelling at her\r\n\r\nThey hit the do’\r\n\r\nIt’s way past 4\r\n\r\nShawty’s like no no no no no no no no\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nThem baggy scrub pants with the tourniquet strap\r\n\r\nTurned around and gave that big AC a smack (HEY)\r\n\r\nShe hit the flow\r\n\r\nNext thing ya know\r\n\r\nPatient got low low low low low low low low\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nHey shawty what I gotta do to get you roomed\r\n\r\nSchedule jam packed full of nasty wounds\r\n\r\nDouble-booked, got stacks of people left to do\r\n\r\nEMR so wack, thanks to meaningful use\r\n\r\n1 click (come on) 2 clicks (come on) 3 clicks (come on)\r\n\r\nAnd that’s 1 med\r\n\r\nWhat you think, I’m playing? I’m just clicking for the man, and the fax is always jammed\r\n\r\nThat’s when I told her\r\n\r\nMy staff can move boulders\r\n\r\nThey outpatient soldiers\r\n\r\nThis pot full of Folgers, got them all bipolar\r\n\r\nThey all working over, burnt out like a toaster\r\n\r\nInsurance and government try to control her\r\n\r\nAll these bean counters are jokers\r\n\r\nPatients keep watching these shows errr\r\n\r\nSorry but Oz is a poseur\r\n\r\nShe showed her\r\n\r\n \r\n\r\nApple bottom scrubs, crocs with the fur\r\n\r\nPA MA Nurse practitioners\r\n\r\nWe doctors know\r\n\r\nThat teamwork’s dope\r\n\r\nClinic got flow flow flow flow flow flow flow
Doc Vader on White Coats vs. Black Suits
Getting “turned” to the Dark Side, with another rant from Doc Vader.
Doc Vader on Outer Rim Hospital Transfers
Hey, ventricular tachycardia can be a TOTALLY stable rhythm, Doc Vader.
Doc Vader Gives Career Advice
Doc Vader gives some friendly Dark Side advice to his daughter Princess Leia.
Hippies (Twenty One Pilots “Heathens” Parody)
Give “p’s” a chance. (p<0.05) A meditation on "alternative" medicine.
Treat Yourself (A Bieber Opioid Ballad)
And if you think you ain’t an addict yet, then baby you should probably treat yourself.
7 Years (A Life In Medicine)
We are standing at a crossroads in healthcare. Behind us lies a long-lost, nostalgia-tinged world of unfettered physician autonomy, sacred doctor-patient relationships, and a laser-like focus on Read More
Best Healthcare Speaker, EVER?
Book ZDoggMD, the funniest healthcare speaker / rapper ever! (also the ONLY healthcare speaker / rapper ever)
Dear Nurses, you ARE appreciated! A special tribute, from a doctor to nurses everywhere.